this was my second 13 hour plus day in a row - am i going to bed? no. it seem to be more important to write/type , read what friends have written, put off the start of another day. this was my meltdown day; hopefully tomorrow will be calmer. i need to have a zen place in my head, especially when i touch chocolate. some quiet center. i miss my routine - i miss time with puppy. we need to go to the park. that's what we'll do for christmas. go to the park. bounce bunnies. wander aimlessly. just be. that's what i really miss this week - time to just be.