Tuesday, December 25, 2007

?

In flux
neither here nor there
unable to act or decide

caught in a limbo
a mild-mannered maelstrom of confusion
wanting to be on the other side
of the conversation
of the decision

wanting to go from here to there
in an instant
not even sure where there is
when there is

if there is........

or even really what 'there' is
wanting to click my ruby heels three times and be there
with no fuss, no muss, no messy scenes or emotions

she said to her
would you mind if, as an act of service, i cleaned your room while you're at work
i thought - eeeeeeeeewwww, i would mind very much, it's presumptuous, and judgemental
and what business of hers is it what someone else's room looks like. she doesn't have to see it.
i would be offended. but the offer was accepted. i don't understand. their relationship is strange, and offputting, and sometimes i'm uncomfortable around them. they aren't so thrilled with me either; they love me, they tolerate me, but they find me wanting.

1 comment:

Ginger said...

seriously? i get the heebie jeebies and want to do my laundry all over again if someone thinks they're being helpful by taking my laundry out of the washer because they can't wait an extra 2 minutes to start their load....eeeewwwwwwww........

if they do indeed find you lacking it's because, from my perspective, they do have a strange, codependent relationship with each other. they're married, they're parent and child, they feed each other's need to play victim and pretend they're empowered by the feeding.

i understand the place you're in, are you stuck in that place from fear of moving forward though? or because you feel you need to be there? i went through that phase for about 3 years before this place was handed to me on a silver platter....my karma said to me, "move on already!" okay, so maybe you are there for a reason and you'll move forward when it's time...like i did.

you think?