Friday, June 19, 2009

Broken Thought Process DaythatendsinY

I miss my fish and the sound of the aquarium. I like the sound of flowing water. Maybe I need a fountain.

It's already too hot in the kitchen. We start coming in a 6am next week. Bleh.

Why does she go straight to weepy panic mode - pissed off or inquiring would be so much more effective.

Why did I agree to go out tonight? I just want to go to bed.

How did I end up with so much on my social calendar? It's just not normal.

I need to find a way to brush up on unused pastry skills that does not involve making loads of fattening things at home.

My upcoming birthday is precipitating a lot of soul searching and depression, what-the-hell-have-I-done-so-far and what-am-I-going-to-do-next. I'm not what I want to be. I'm not sure what I want to be. I don't know if I'm capable of being what I want to be. Maybe I'm just too lazy to make the effort.

That write-in-the-shower pad Jenn put on facebook is awesome. About time someone came up with that. Why wasn't it me? Oh, yeah. Science.

How do sculptors make stone look like diaphanous fabric? Why are cake artists into bright tacky-colored fondant and frosting? I'm glad we don't do wedding cakes anymore. I hate covering cakes in fondant. It's fun for sculpture, but not for covering. And it tastes bad. Really bad.

Do I have time for a nap and a shower? Do I care?

Where is all the time going? It seems to be going by so fast, and I'm left here feeling empty, feeling useless, feeling like a waste of time.

You are not a window Kitty. Get off the keyboard.

I really need a glass of water. I miss going to Free Writing on Friday mornings. It was really good for me. I haven't been able to go for over a year.

It's hot. I'm tired. And I don't want to go out. But I said I would. This is why I so rarely give my word - once it's done, it has to be honored. Integrity can be so inconvenient.


ginger said...

wonderful broken thought process!

i don't know why she goes straight to panic, but she does.
make fattening things and give them away.
the renaissance faire got moved to the 12th. are you and najah going the 11th or the 12th?
you do this every year on your birthday, right?
where'd you go tonight, you social butterfly you?

kate said...

yeah, I know.
I'm going to ask Juan if I can stage with him - he does way fancy things.
The 11th - it's one of the only 2 days Najah isn't already booked.
Yes, I do.
Juan's birthday party. He didn't think I'd actually show up - it made his night.

Jenn said...

Oh I am in love with your broken thought process post Kate, you have truly embodied the whole spirit of it! Woo hoo!

So feeling you on the birthday thing. My intuition is kicking up that someone is trying to throw me a party (but I am hoping desperately it is just paranoia instead). The social calendar thing rings a bell too.

Beautiful sculpture!

ginger said...

well, then. in the name of adventure and the spirit of friends, i will be going both days. woohoo!

a stage with juan would be great! i'm glad you went and made him gotta keep 'em guessing!

Bridgete said...

I hate eating wedding cake because of the fondant. Ugh.