Wednesday, April 1, 2009

Seven Years to the Day

I wish you hadn't been alone
and that my sister hadn't been the one to find you
sometimes it's funny that you died on April Fool's Day
and sometimes it seems like spite
I never understood your longing to be gone from this earth
to return to the stars
I didn't understand a lot about you
but enough to know
that the path of motherhood was not your first best destiny
that you loved us as best you could
but in your heart of hearts
we were not the life you would have chosen if you had been just a bit braver
but for myself and my sisters
I'm glad you chose the path you did
And while you are off flying free
the way you always wished to be
I will remember you
with the tangled mess of feelings
that seem inevitable between mother and daughter
with fire and air for you
with water and earth for me
a candle and incense
while I kneel in the snow or the rain that will fall today
and add a plant to the round patch of earth
that still has your pink flamingo in it.


ginger said...

doesn't seem like 7 years...

Jenn said...

Kate this is so powerful. So beautifully written.