tank, sweet tank

today was serious cleaning day for the aquarium. it felt good.

after our walk this morning, puppy and i went to petsmart for new filters. puppy seems to enjoy going to petsmart; she practically runs into the store. and smells everything. and gets a cookie at the register, which she eats on the spot. she's come a long way.....

i realized today that quite a bit of my current issues about the current living situation are all my own stuff. i spent hours in my head griping and being bitter. to the point where i missed a lot of the walk. some things do need to be said and cleared up, such as why am i subsidizing l's living expenses for months on end, when no one asked my consent or ability to do so. a lot of it is my tendency to keep everything inside until i explode. not healthy. so, i need to speak up, from a place of calmness. not the paranoid they're out to get me, just using me for my money place.

cleaning the tank was very calming. for me. the fish seemed a bit irritated. the cat seemed very interested; the drop in water level made fishing seem like a more realistic option. he was thwarted in this desire, as he so often is. as we all are.

it was beautiful out this morning, and i missed much of it, even though i was outside. now it's gray and beginning to snow, beautiful in it's own way. i'm present enough to notice.