Monday, January 7, 2008

tank, sweet tank

today was serious cleaning day for the aquarium. it felt good.

after our walk this morning, puppy and i went to petsmart for new filters. puppy seems to enjoy going to petsmart; she practically runs into the store. and smells everything. and gets a cookie at the register, which she eats on the spot. she's come a long way.....

i realized today that quite a bit of my current issues about the current living situation are all my own stuff. i spent hours in my head griping and being bitter. to the point where i missed a lot of the walk. some things do need to be said and cleared up, such as why am i subsidizing l's living expenses for months on end, when no one asked my consent or ability to do so. a lot of it is my tendency to keep everything inside until i explode. not healthy. so, i need to speak up, from a place of calmness. not the paranoid they're out to get me, just using me for my money place.

cleaning the tank was very calming. for me. the fish seemed a bit irritated. the cat seemed very interested; the drop in water level made fishing seem like a more realistic option. he was thwarted in this desire, as he so often is. as we all are.

it was beautiful out this morning, and i missed much of it, even though i was outside. now it's gray and beginning to snow, beautiful in it's own way. i'm present enough to notice.

1 comment:

Ginger said...

((clapping loudly)) yaaaaayyyyy!!!!

a) beautifully written and pleasant to read.

b) good for you.

c) the fishies look pretty.

d)yes, they can see their own reflections. bindhi told me.